Conversating

"Hams! Now you're talking my language!"

Thu, 07 Jul 2005 01:40:36 GMT

Updates:
1. I have a new roommate. Sort of. Our friend Caitlin is staying with us for a while. Or maybe 6 months. Don't really know yet. It's a little awkward, because, you know, it's just been Brie and me for the last 6 months. And change is always a little weird.
Plus, Brie and I are sharing a room and Caitlin gets the single room, which was a big decision. But the fabulous part is that Brie and I are each only paying $290 for rent now. So fabulous. I can't wait to not be digging myself deeper and deeper into debt. Holla!
Right now she's cat-sitting for her mom. Two cats, Ratty and Grover. Ratty has a thyroid condition so he's super skinny. Also part Siamese, so he yowls. Grover is superduperextra fat and very furry. They're very funny, but I don't think Millie likes sharing.

2. Ummmm...okay, so there was this girl that I was friends with and this guy, and they were together. And then there was this other girl that I was better friends with and she and the guy had sex. And then the guy and the other girl (the first one), they broke up. And then, just recently, I found out that the first girl and the guy had this thing that's not good and contagious. Oh my god...nothing ruins a crush like an std. But you didn't hear it from me.

3. Brie and Di are in Florida. Yea! They come back on the 10th. Apparently, Di is a nagging, nasty bitch and Brie's sick of her. Haha...I feel like there should be some kind of "putting your eggs all in one basket" saying here. Welcome back!

4. I'M GOING TO BE IN A BAND!!! HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHHHHEEEEEE! I'm probably way too excited because it'll probably either be beat or lame or never even happen. But...hehhe...I've always wanted to be in a band! Oh my gosh, I'm going to be a singer in a band! Yea! Okay, sorry, I just got a little too giddy for a second, but I'm back......hehe...hehehehe...

5. Work, same.

6. Love life, same. (Boo. I say boo to that.)

7. Live 8 = eh. I didn't get to see Jay Z because I had to work. I did see the Black Eyed Peas (fuck you, Fergie) and Bon Jovi (oh god, Jersey was out in full force that day). I heard Destiny's Child (like anyone wanted to see anyone but Beyonce, hello). Then I came back in time for Kanye West (Jesus!) and Will Smith (thinks he's the Second Coming, the blessed son of Phila). I didn't buy a shitty t-shirt for $5, but I did get a heinous sunburn. Thanks, Bob Geldof.

8. 4th of July = eh. If Philly wants to be to the 4th what New York is to New Year's, they're going to have to step it up a notch. However, the free Elton John concert was a good start. He sang "The Bitch is Back," "Bennie and the Jets," and "Tiny Dancer." Hot shit! Patti LaBelle played before Elton John. Oh my god! Homegirl has lost her goddamn mind. She actually said, "I am 61 years old. I will not hesitate to pimpslap somebody if I feel I'm being disrespected!" Onstage! During the show! Oh my god! Coke makes you say crazy things I guess. Just ask Mary Kate Olsen.

9. I just ate 9 Peeps. Peeps left over from Easter. Ew. What is wrong with me? I just need to eat dinner I guess. Also...well...munchies.

That's all I can think of for right now. I'm going to go get ready. I'm supposedly going to some Johnny Cash tribute thingie or something at some or another Irish pub. I hope everyone's having a happy, lovely summer. I'm jealous of all of you.
<3

MJ, brass monkeys, dirty phone calls, home

Tue, 14 Jun 2005 02:15:23 GMT

So, MJ was found not guilty on all charges. Hmm... I have a few thoughts on this.
Okay, my first thought is that that's fucking beat and he's totally guilty. Granted, I was not a juror, and maybe he's only guilty in the court of public opinion. But still...I don't know. I can't help but think that he paid off a few people to get found innocent.
My second thought is that he might not be guilty, but he is disturbed. And he needs help. And he needs to stop letting little boys sleep in his bed and then he wouldn't have these problems. Right? Right.
My final thought is that whoever these parents are, they need to be locked up. First, they let their children hang out with Michael Jackson. Hello! Wake up! He fucks babies! Second, if he doesn't fuck babies (big if), then they're suing an innocent man for no reason. There is something so wrong with the people of this country.

Ummkay, so I'm done talking about Jacko.

There's really nothing much else to say. I'm coming home tomorrow night. Ummm...I'm drinking a Brass Monkey.
On the subject of Brass Monkeys, if you've never had one, you should. They are delicious. You take a 40 of Olde English, drink down to the top of the label, then fill it up the the ring with orange juice. Then gently rock it back and forth to mix it up. It's magical and tropical and a taste sensation.

I got my first dirty phone call today at work. This guy called and told me that he was sitting on his front porch and it was so hot and he wearing his sunglasses. Only his sunglasses. It was...bizarre. I didn't say anything, I just hung up.

I'm excited about coming home. I've got a pretty full schedule. So it should be fun, I won't get bored like usual.

All right, well, we're getting ready to "have people over" but we're not exactly sure that anyone will should up. Have a great time, everyone!

Champagne wishes and caviar dreams

Mon, 06 Jun 2005 04:42:48 GMT

Updates:
1. My roommate is a douchebag.
2. Mal is my savior.
3. Her roommate is an even bigger douchebag than mine.
4. Cities are too hot.
5. I'm poor. Like real poor. Like going to the free clinic on Wednesday because I think I have pnuemonia poor.
6. I miss home.
7. Millie is adorable and now has the freedom to explore the deck.
8. I have a hammock.
9. Skateboarding is hot.
10. I'm going to see the Flaming Lips in July in West Virginia at All Good. Hot shit, bitches!
11. I need drugs.
12. I need to do laundry.
13. We have an ant problem.

More will come. I just recently got my computer back from the depths of hell.

Kisses, M.

if you're lookin' for me, you better check under the sea

Thu, 14 Apr 2005 20:51:32 GMT

Oh to be young again. With no worries.

Ha! Just kidding. I've never had no worries (I know, that sentence had awful grammar, but it's what I meant. Get off my back.). I think, even when I was little, I was kind of neurotic.
It's really catching up with me now.

Drama: (1) what happens when your friends start sleeping together; (2) what happens when you take a break with your boyfriend; (3) what happens when people start to get so annoying that you have no choice but to hold secret meetings with everyone else to talk about how fucking annoying other people are.

I'm sick of drama.

The most current 5 causes of drama in my life:
1. I haven't talked to Justin in 10 days. I know I should call him, I sort of want to call him, but I have no idea what I would say and I don't want to exacerbate the situation with a poorly timed phone call.
2. Di is sleeping with Brendan. She did it once, whatever. But now it's becoming a regular thing and that's going to fuck shit up with the whole group.
3. Brie's boy toy Blake (long-haired, lazy, homeless, retarded, humorless guitar player/lead vocalist/pathological liar) is driving everyone fucking insane. He likes Brie more than she likes him and now she doesn't know how to get rid of him.
4. I have no money. Brie has no money. I don't know how to control my spending habits. I need a second job.
5. I'm sick of the bullshit. I'm sick of Di (she's a brat), I'm sick of the stupid drug kids, I'm sick of the smeezy guys, I'm sick of drinking every other night with the same kids and smoking with the same kids, and watching the same people hook-up, and listening to everyone talk about everyone else, and talking about everyone, and the fights and the bitches and the assholes and the dumb tv and the empty conversations and never really being friends with anyone. Blech... it's just getting old.

I talked to Brendan on the phone for a while yesterday. I told him that I want him to be my daytime friend. I'm sick of nighttime Brendan. Nighttime Brendan gets trashed and tries to hook-up with any girl within 10 feet. Lucky for him, Di's a naive tramp. Hahaha...that's mean. She's not that bad. But she's an idiot. And she's lying when she says that she doesn't like him. And...it's too much to go into now. There's a lot of background...
Basically, Brendan was going out with Aja. They took a break over spring break. The first night of spring break was a Friday, Mal's birthday. At her birthday, things got a little crazy. End result: Brie had sex with Brendan. Okay, little drama there, but things got quiet soon after. Aja came back from break, she and Brendan were back together, good. Then, for no reason other than she's crazy, Brie decided that she had to tell Aja about her one night stand with Brendan. Aja...didn't get mad...but it caused some problems between her and Brendan. They broke up. More or less because of Brie. Some other stuff happened, blah, blah, blah... now Di and Brendan. And the thing is, Di isn't friends with the whole group of people that go along with Aja and Brendan (she thinks she is, but she isn't)...so...when things end with them (which they will, inevitably, badly), she can just walk away. But it's going to make things weird for me and Brie and Mal. We're going to lose half our social cirlce.

Uuuugghhhhhhhh... I hate that these stupid petty bullshit dramas are part of my life.

That's it. I'm ending all that.
I'm getting out. Brie and I are making new friends. We have to.
I'm not going to participate in all the retardedness anymore. No. I won't. I'm getting out.

I still don't know what to do about #1 and #4. But those will be easier to deal with once I'm not thinking, "Is Mike cheating on Lynn with Kerry? Did Mal hang out with Di and Brendan last night and not tell me on purpose? Is she mad at me? Are BK and Aja hooking up? Why did Neil break up with Caitlin? Did she really lie to him? Where was Dean last night? Is Elyse out of detox? Is Ren still on smack? Did Blake steal my drugs?" Bullshit!

And then there's other stuff. Which I can't say here.

I'm coming home this weekend! Yea! Asian babies! Ikea! Holla!

Sorry about this entry. It's a little...yeah...just...sorry.

Better go. I have to bike over to Brie's sister's to drop off some shit.
Love and kisses.

Yours sincerely,
Wasting Away

feelin' groovy

Tue, 05 Apr 2005 16:38:38 GMT

Last night was rough. But today, everything feels different.
It's beautiful outside. I was productive. I feel better about the situation.
Nothing can really bother me today. I feel...content. And satisfied. And excited.

Mottos for the day:
Everything can change.
Today is the first day of my new life.

This good mood is brought to you by:
Sunshine, DJ Z-Trip,
Laundry, the letter M and the number 5.

Good day.

Tue, 05 Apr 2005 07:47:58 GMT

I know that I shouldn't care. I know that it doesn't matter. I know that this is natural and that I'm still getting over it. But it still sucks.
I know that that only makes sense to me. I know that I'm high and drunk. I know that I need to stop being how I'm being.
But I don't know how.
And that sucks.
And it sucks that I'm always here. I'm always doing this. I'm always feeling this. And I'm sick of it. I want it to stop. But is it me or other people? Can I change this or do I need to make other people change their behaviors?
I don't know. I just know that I want this to stop. But I can't make it. Oh god...I'm so tired of it all.

It's not fair.
It's not.

I just want to throw up.

Somedays...or rather some nights...I wish that I wasn't living this life.

All right...I need to make this end.
So I will. Even though I'm scared.
But why?
Because I don't want to rock the boat. Because I'm weird and self-conscious.

Good night. Stupid, awful, sad world. I think I'll go listen to some sad bastard music. I'm drunk, so maybe some Bright Eyes.

Kisses. (Sorry this is my first entry in a million years. It's not a very good one.)

Tue, 05 Apr 2005 07:37:07 GMT

How do I always end up here?

Mon, 28 Feb 2005 22:18:16 GMT

Mon, 28 Feb 2005 21:45:38 GMT

Things are getting pretty crazy around here.

Or not crazy at all.
It's hard to say.

But if things aren't crazy...well, that's pretty crazy, don't you think?

All right. Here's my life, in as few words as possible.

Last Friday: Scary honesty, painful revelations, coke.
Last Saturday: Work, shame, exhaustion.
Last Sunday: Laziness, heart-to-heart, coke, weed, submission.
Last Monday: Accidentally tripped, vomit, insanity, no communication, stagnation.
Tuesday: Work, depression, redemption, good fortune kitty.
Wednesday: Nothing noteworthy, work.
Thursday: Snow, thrift store, endless eating, missed chance.
Friday: Laundry debacle, no cleaning, "butt" party, stolen beers, too much liquor, another missed chance.
Saturday: Boyfriend time, lackluster, keg party, flip cup, left wanting.
Sunday: Work, lots of talking, Oscars, weed, cracked out.
Today: Snow, nothing to do, no where to go.

I'm having thoughts that I think I shouldn't be thinking. And it's starting to be harder to not think them.
I need help.

Oi...if only it wasn't so cold. Then I think I'd be able to figure everything out.
But as it is, I need help with the following areas of life:
*love *work *money *friends *family *future *health *sanity
Somehow, I feel that if I had finished college or had sex with more or any random people, I would be able to figure out more of my life. Like a BA or an STD would give me the wisdom to see how to solve my own problems. But I'm plagued by the fact that I can tell anyone else just what to do, yet I have no idea what I need to do. It's pretty awesome. These are the things that coming-of-age dramedies are made of. If only I was Scarlett Johansson. If ONLY I was Scarlett Johansson...for some many reasons...

So...I want to be a fashion designer. Someone, tell me how I do that?
Too much Project Runway and America's Next Top Model and Oscars.

This is the most idiotic journal entry I've ever written. I blame it on the snow. And because I'm alone.
Whatever...to make it all better...

hahaha...yeah, that's how I feel most of the time.

i no longer know who i am and i feel like a ghost of a total stranger

Mon, 21 Feb 2005 17:02:35 GMT

It's Monday. I don't know how I ended up here.

I'm at home. I've been home most of the weekend. But I feel like I was in a parallel universe for three days.

Friday: had a big state of the union address with Justin. Things were weird, left unresolved. I felt like the worst kind of person imagainable.
Went to Aja's. Weird. We got some stuff from a kid who apparently doesn't know how to even imitate . Did it. Justin didn't want me to do it. Things got weird/worse.

Friday bled into Saturday...
Stayed up forever talking. Didn't sleep. Layed down for an hour, plagued by random, non-human thought patterns and the stereotypical, post- guilt. Went to work. Ended up having to work an extra 20 minutes because Trecia is a bitch.
Came home, smoked, napped. Woke up at 6 to the sounds of Brie and her mom and sisters coming home from shopping. Got up, ate a delicious meal made by Brie's mom, played games, smoked secretly, went to bed. Brie wasn't doing so well with no sleep. I talked to Mal and she sounded close to melting or exploding. Things got better with Justin. It looked up.

Sunday: Slept too much in compensation. Brie's mom and sister went home. We went to Whole Foods and bought the ingredients for stir-fry. Went to the strangest diner in the history of convenient dining. Talked a lot. Figured a lot of stuff out. Got really mad because his mom is a cold, horrible woman. Came home. Brie's friends Rae and Tom were here. They were cooking stir-fry. Wrote part of a paper for Brie. Things started to get weird and tense. Had a really good moment with Justin. Got mad at Brie because I thought she took the rest of the shit to do in secret. Mal, Lynn and Di came over. Got beer. Made up with Brie (because my suspicion was totally unfounded). Did the rest of it in secret. Everyone left but me and Mal. Talked and talked about everything, but mostly Justin. Brie and her friends came home. Mal left, Rae and Tom went to sleep. Brie and I stayed up for way too long being more honest about each other than I've ever been with anyone else. Went to bed.

Monday: I got a few hours of sleep. Now Brie, Rae and Tom are out at a diner with Rae's friends Shawn and Felchie. I'm here. Eventually, they'll come back and we're going to see Dali. Justin and I agreed to not talk today, just so I had some time to think. It's already harder than I thought and I'm suddenly realizing that maybe I'm as addicted to my personal lifestyle as I am to my social lifestyle.

I wrote this partially so that I could see how I got from Friday to Monday, point A to point Q. It all could have been so different. But I'm not sorry that it wasn't. I can't really think of it in those terms.

This is my life.

I need something else.

*****************************************************************

Hunter S. Thompson is dead, an apparent suicide. For some reason, I find this incredibly sad.

The Beatles are the best music for making you feel like you remember who you are.
Is it sad that the Beatles are the connection that I've found back to the real world after this absolutely surreal weekend?
No. Because the Beatles are a part of me no matter who me have become.

suck my dick, lick my ass

Sat, 19 Feb 2005 20:26:28 GMT

motherfuckers are so nice.

it's midafternoon on saturday. already this has been the weirdest fucking weekend of my life.
and i owe it all to drugs.
thanks, drugs, for making my life... not boring, at least.

the end.

ps-- dear jesus, i didn't mean it this morning when i said i would rather be dead than alive. i was just tired. please don't kill me. urban just came out with new spring clothes.

pps-- does heaven have indie kids? and if so, are they still as annoying as they are on earth?

Cable internet is the greatest thing that has ever happened to me in all of my 23 years on the earth

Wed, 16 Feb 2005 03:14:04 GMT

Oh, it so is.

they don't make 'em like they used to...you should've just stuck with me

Wed, 16 Feb 2005 02:14:58 GMT

Well, it's Tuesday. I think I've finally recovered from Friday.

I have no doubt in my mind that I was the most trashed person at my party. And I'm sure everyone else knows that too. Because I screamed it fifty million times. And...apparently...I danced for everyone as well. Awesome. I'm so glad that there are pictures.
But whatever, because I had such a fabulous time. It was seriously exactly the kind of party that I wanted to have. Everyone that I love who I wanted to come came, plus a bunch of people I didn't know. And the next day, I got the best compliment of all. Fat Bisexual Brian, that asshole, IMed Brie and said "Bitchin' party." Ha!

So who wants to come to the next one???? Huh???
Maybe this will entice you...
Next time... 2 jugs of tequila. Oh yeah, you heard me.

Anyway, I'm not going to say much, except thank you so much for coming to celebrate with me, girls. It wouldn't have been half as fun without you guys. 5in1 was the one of the nightlights of my night. Oh, but one big downer, I never got to eat any of the cupcakes!!! Stupid potheads...

I had a really nice day today. Even though I worked all day (9:30-7) so I missed out on the beautiful day, just knowing that it was warm and sunny really put me in a good mood. And I had a nice morning chat with Justin, and I was busy at work so the time flew by, and Brie brought me lunch/dinner (I've always wanted to call it linner, but it doesn't seem right), and Scott fixed the washer today. It's just been one of those really satisfying days. Also, I walked home from work which made me feel really good about myself, because usually on Tuesdays, I'm so tired, I'm like, "Fuck it, I'm taking the bus." But I'm so glad that I didn't tonight. I put my iPod on shuffle and danced my way from Broad and Chesnut all the way to my apartment.

I think I might try to take a Pilates class.

Today feels like a sigh (the good kind).

Kiss-kiss!

Lent is Jesus' way of saying "Fuck you for killing me!"

Thu, 10 Feb 2005 02:03:10 GMT

Just got back from work (I know...it's weird for me to hear (or read) me saying it too). The bus ride was somewhere between tedious and unpleasant. The bus that I take to and from work (the 33, if you care about details) is pretty much always ridiculously crowded. Except for Super Bowl (god bless you Eagles, you poor, losing sons of bitches) when Brie and I took it down to Penn's Landing and it was just us and some quasi-bum. Anyway, so I got on and ended up squished between two people. No big deal. Then this little old lady got on and she was so cute in her little turban, so I let her take my seat and I stood up. Then this strange little man, no doubt touched by my kindess to the little old lady, moved his backpack so I could sit down. So now I was squished between him and a tiny Japanese woman in a purple hat. It wouldn't have been so bad if he wasn't nodding off...or he hadn't been scratching like he had fleas...or if he didn't stink of old booze...or if he wasn't still drinking. But whatever. Then the Japanese woman got off and this HUGE guy sat down in her seat. If possible, I got more squished. And to compoud my discomfort, the bus driver was going, like, 15 miles per hour. Even Drunky-Drunkerton next to me woke up long enough to slur, "Why he driving so slooooooooowwwww?" Anyway...whatever, it wasn't that bad.

When I came in, I could hear the people on the 1st floor (Dan and Christy) having an argument. I didn't really pick up much of it, but what I heard was:
Christy: You never listen!
Dan: Blah Blah Blah!
Christy: My therapist says that sometimes when I just need to vent my frustration you think that I'm yelling at you and I'm not.
Dan: Are you gonna pull the therapist card on me?!
Christy: Hell yeah! You did it to me for long enough.

At that point, I felt that I had pretended to look through the mail long enough, so I stopped eavesdropping and went upstairs. Later, I heard some doors slam. I hope they don't become domestically violent.

Okay, well, I have to go smoke a bowl now. Come to my party, bitches! I love you!

PS- Happy Ash Wednesday!
PPS- Brie's a cunt. (Not really, she just wanted to be mentioned because she's severely narcissistic and maybe retarded (the doctors just don't know yet).)

rock me, amadeus

Sat, 05 Feb 2005 23:51:07 GMT

My tummy hurts.
I need food. Someone, please put food in my tummy.
I would be ever so grateful. I'll take anything. Bread, maybe, some nuts or berries.
Anything will do. I promise not to be picky. Please. Give me food so that I may live to see tomorrow.

PS--I wanna sexxx u up

Fur's not wrong; it's just stupid.

Fri, 04 Feb 2005 20:43:43 GMT

After a long absence, I return, triumphant!!!

Oh my goodness...finally, the internet.
After over a month of no computer contact, I finally have it. The internet. Oh, how I missed it. You know, it's so true, the old saying. You don't know what you got 'til it's gone. Joni Mitchell was so wise.

So anyway, now I have it and it's cable and it's awesome. And I have cable tv and that's awesome. Especially OnDemand. It's so awesome. I watched a show on Animal Planet On Demand last night called "The Future is Wild," all about the evolution of Earth and animals and what it will all look like 5 million years in the future. It was...awesome.

So let's...it's been a month or so...not much has happened. Actually, it feels like nothing has happened. I'll fill you in on the details when I remember them. Which I probably won't. Because I do entirely too many drugs.

Enough of that, I have an announcement to make.
Monday, February 14th, I will become very old.
In honor of that (and before I become brittle and develop a hunchback and start going deaf) I am having a party on Friday, February 11th. It was going to be the "Celebrate Mary's impending retirement and Social Security benefits party" but now Megan's reminded me that Georgie-boy is nixing S.S. So I think now it's going to be the "Celebrate Mary's impending retirement and subsequent plunge into a life of Alcoholism, Crack Addiction, and Homelessness." Like I've told everyone: I'll supply the liquor, bring your own drugs.
I'm slightly nervous about having a party here since my landlord is an asshole cop. But...whatever. You only turn 23 once!

Fuck. I am old.

But whatever. Because...I have cable.

Okay, I better go. I have to shower, clean, blah, blah, blah, before Justin gets here at 5.
So good to be back!
<3

I think I love you, so what am I so afraid of?

Sun, 09 Jan 2005 19:18:39 GMT

Not much time to talk, lots to say. I'm actually home right now, home home, as in Maryland. My cousin is back on break from Iraq so we're all going over to my aunt's house for a little party. I'm hopefully getting a job tomorrow (think good thoughts) and my apartment is looking supercute!
There's lots of little things to say, but we're already running late as it is so I should get off the computer. I'll have much more to write once we get the internet at my apartment.
Kisses, Mary

Wed, 22 Dec 2004 20:58:39 GMT

Oh man! Ryan knows that I know.
He's requested that I not tell anyone else. Which is fine. I don't want those bitches to know anyway.
I like having secrets.
I think he was a little embarrassed that Charlie told me.

I'm totally saturated in gay lately.
Which is fitting I guess. Since I'm moving to Philly (Gay Capital of the World) in...holy fuck, 1 week.

I have to go pack.
And craft.

PS-- My aunt and uncle just got back from China with their new baby. I think she's adorable. I'm going to steal her. Too bad they live all the way in Florida.

Deck the halls with lots of gay boys! Fa la la la la La la la la!

Wed, 22 Dec 2004 03:47:11 GMT

OH MY GOD!!! More Gay Hut news!!!

Okay, so I went into work tonight to write down the rest of my schedule for the week (because stupid face Rachel changed my schedule and now I'm working Christmas eve from 6:45 unti 2:45). Anyway, Charlie worked for me tonight and Ryan was also working. So Charlie and I are standing there, chatting. Here's how it went down.

Me: Oh, it sucks. Now we're not working together. Rachel ruined your Christmas eve plan. [His plan was for us to go out to his car an hour before close so that we could smoke a bowl together.]
Charlie: I know! Rachel ruined everything.
Me: I know. She's such a plan ruiner.
Charlie: [whispering] Psst! He is too. [points at Ryan]
Me: [stupid, confused] What? Stoned?
Charlie: No. [mouths something incoherent and points to himself]
Me: Does he smoke too?
Charlie: No. He is too. [nods like I'm supposed to know what he means]
Ryan: What?
Charlie: Nothing.
Me: Rachel's just a plan ruiner, that's all.
Ryan: Oh...okay.
Charlie: [mouths] Ryan is too.
Me: [whispering] Is too what?
Ryan: I'm going to go to the bathroom.
Charlie and me: Okay!
[Ryan leaves]
Charlie: He is too.
Me: What? Did you guys smoke in your car tonight?
Charlie: NO! Think about our conversation last night.
Me: [comprehension dawns] Oooooohhhh...

Our conversation last night started because Charlie called me a dyke and I said, "Hey, that's not very nice. What if I was a lesbian and I was really hurt by that." And then he said, "Yeah, but it's like when people call people fags and they just mean stupid."
And I was like, "Well, I don't think that's okay either. I actually really don't like it." So we went on this whole debate about how it's not okay to use racial/ethnic/sexual slurs to mean stupid, etc. And then he said, "No, it is okay for me to say fag and I'll tell you why." So then I (being the brilliant idiot who just blurts things out and doesn't think and then later realizes that she's an idiot) say, "Well, I think it's only okay to use that word if you're gay. Are you gay?!"
Charlie goes, "Well...yeah. But you knew that already." And I was like, "Oh, yeah...I did..."

So anyway, we talked about it more tonight. Apparently, Charlie's comfortable with his sexuality (although he did say that he thinks he's "too gay" sometimes which worries me) but Ryan definitely isn't. Why? Because he's afraid that his church will find out. Of course! God damn Christians. Charlie also said that he could tell I was a fag hag when he met me. Which is okay. Because I am. Also because I could tell that he was gay when I met him. So we're square.
So there definitely need to be some gay boys at my new year's eve shindig. Oh, except Ryan and Charlie have been dating for 4 months. But I don't know if they're dating dating or just experimenting.
The point is, I love Charlie and he needs a hot boy to kiss on new year's eve. Not that Ryan's not cute. But Charlie is cuter. He needs man love. Not repressed boy like.

Blah blah blah. That's all I really had to say. I love knowing secrets!!! I told Charlie not to tell anyone else that works at the hut because it's more fun for me if they don't know.

Also, no word yet on the you-know-whats for new year's eve.
Oh, also, anyone who is coming to the n.y.e.p. is welcome to stay the next day and watch the Mummers Parade down Broad Street. I'm pretty excited!

Tue, 21 Dec 2004 18:58:04 GMT

I decided to go to Google Images and type in "jazz hands" to see what came up. These are some of my favorites.

hahaha...guys in the 50s were so gay.

auughhh! he's so scary when he smiles!!!

he's so channeling bob fosse

what?

i think these people would be a lot of fun to hang out with. especially that guy on the right.

he's got sass. i like it.

GEEK!

Tue, 21 Dec 2004 18:23:07 GMT

Merriam-Webster's top 10 searched-for words of the year:

1. blog: noun short for Weblog; what stupid people call their online geek-fest journals
2. incumbent: noun [in-'k&m-b&nt] the holder of an office or ecclesiastical benefice; asshole
3. electoral: adjective [i-'lek-t(&-)r&l, "E-lek-'tor-&l] of or relating to an elector or an election; America's way of saying fuck you to the little states
4. insurgent: noun a person who revolts against civil authority or an established government; especially : a rebel not recognized as a belligerent; one who acts contrary to the policies and decisions of one's own political party; George Bush II or Zell Miller
5. hurricane: noun ['h&r-&-"kAn, -i-k&n, 'h&-r&-, 'h&-ri-] a tropical cyclone with winds of 74 miles (118 kilometers) per hour or greater that occurs especially in the western Atlantic, that is usually accompanied by rain, thunder, and lightning, and that sometimes moves into temperate latitudes; Jesus' way of punishing all the homos in southern Florida.
6. cicada: noun [s&-'kA-d&, -'kä-; sI-'kA-] any of a family (Cicadidae) of homopterous insects which have a stout body, wide blunt head, and large transparent wings and the males of which produce a loud buzzing noise usually by stridulation; biggest comeback of '04
7. peloton: noun the main body of riders in a bicycle race; who the fuck looked up this fucking word?!
8. partisan: noun ['pär-t&-z&n, -s&n, -"zan, chiefly British "pär-t&-'zan/] a firm adherent to a party, faction, cause, or person; especially : one exhibiting blind, prejudiced, and unreasoning allegiance; a member of a body of detached light troops making forays and harassing an enemy or a member of a guerrilla band operating within enemy lines; red states and blue states; see also: anyone appearing on Crossfire
9. sovereignty: supreme power especially over a body politic; freedom from external control; controlling influence; example: America, Iraq (prior to March 2003)
10. defenestration: noun [dE-"fe-n&-'strA-sh&n] a throwing of a person or thing out of a window; what? what? what? what the fuck?; see Michael Jackson and Blanket

Bring on the cries of geek!
At least I don't have a nickname for a dictionary. NERDS!!!

I'm sleepy. I don't feel like working a million hours this week.

CHRISTMAS COUNTDOWN: 3.5 days
MOVING COUNTDOWN: 8.5 days
2005 COUNTDOWN: 10.5 days

OH MY GOD!!! I almost forgot! One of the gay boys told me that he's gay! Ha! I knew it! I just wasn't sure if he knew it. But he does. And it's my favorite one too. Charlie. That is such is good hot gay boy name. Okay, so now it's my job to be his fag hag (at least until I move) and try to find him a cute boy to make out with. Yea!

Gotta go craft. Kisses.

Mon, 20 Dec 2004 01:38:34 GMT

COUNTDOWN TO CHRISTMAS: 5 days (not counting tonight and Christmas Day)
COUNTDOWN TO MARY'S BIG MOVE: 10 days
COUNTDOWN TO 2005: 12 days
COUNTDOWN TO ANYONE BEING COOLER THAN ME: -22 years

So I signed my lease today. It was supposed to happen Wednesday but Scott had some problems getting a copy...blah, blah, blah. Anyway, we did it this afternoon. I expected to feel like "Aaaaaaaaahhhh!" or like, different or something. But I didn't feel much different afterwards or any more excited. It was a lot like losing my virginity. Except there were more people in the room for the lease signing. And to the best of my knowledge, no police officers were present at my deflowering.

Yeah, so I'm technically a lessee now. Scary.

New Year's Eve (semi)Bash is still on. Everyone's welcome. Jessie, you definitely don't have to hold your breath. Unless there's a corpse in the room...okay, no, that's just funny to me.
All right, I'll explain.
So Scott brought his puppy to the lease signing. He was adorable, 7 weeks old, a white German sheperd. His name was Loki! Cute! Okay, so we're in another apartment, signing the lease and Loki goes out into the hallway and pees on the former tenant's mail that is sitting under the mail slot. It was quite funny except that for some reason this little puppy's urine smelled fucking awful. Like, normal urine, kinda smelly. This puppy was...I don't know...pissing rotten eggs or something. Anyway, Officer Scott goes to clean it up and when he comes back, his eyes are watering. He says, "I'm awful with smells. I can see anything and it doesn't bother me. But smells, oh, they really get me. There was this one time. We went to this house where this woman had been dead for a couple of weeks..." And then he goes on to tell a story about how this woman's rotting corpse smelled so bad that he couldn't even stay in the house. So he went out back and smoked a cigarette and "got some air." And then he went back into the house to go out front again, but he got caught in a throng of people (why were there that many people? I don't know), he couldn't get out, so he was just stuck smelling this dead woman ("She was a white lady, but she'd been sitting there so long she looked like she was black."). Then he finally gets to the door and the woman's daughter is there asking if she can come in and he says, "So I'm trying to tell her that she can if she wants, but I wouldn't recommend it, and as I'm talking, I'm puking up bile..."
Oh my god...this is my landlord.
Then he told a story that involved another decomposed body and "a tub 3/4 of the way full of piss and shit" and him telling the dead woman's neighbor that the deceased was "a fucking filthy pig."
Can I just say that I LOVE Officer Scott?! I love this guy!
Oh, but I swear to Christ, if he was arresting me, I would be shitting myself, I'd be so scared. He looks like he'd fucking rip your arms off your body and use them to smack some sense into you. But he's so nice. And he loves puppies.

Right-o. I better go. I have to paint a jewelry box for my sister. Then I have to iron words onto aprons for Justin's dad and stepmother. Plus, I have to finish a painting. And I only have five days for the box and the painting and four days for the aprons. Fuck me. I should have done all of this a long time ago.

'Kay, kiddies. Stay warm!
Love, me.

for megan

Mon, 20 Dec 2004 01:12:17 GMT

Jolly good, wot! Anyone for tennis? That'll be ten ponies, guv. You're the epitome of everything that is english. Yey :) Hoist that Union Jack!

How British are you?

this quiz was made by alanna

moshi moshi

Wed, 15 Dec 2004 17:18:48 GMT

So it's been a while. But I've been sick and/or very busy.
I'm moving to Philadelphia in two weeks and one day! Yea!
But not yea...I'm scared and now I'm getting cold feet.
But I love Philly! Yea!

So I'm a little conflicted.

It's going to be good though...I think. We're signing the lease for our apartment tonight. It's SO cute (the apt, not the lease, I haven't seen that yet...it might be cute, I don't know). It's two bedrooms, one bathroom, 3rd floor, with a fireplace (semi-working) and a deck. It's $950 a month and that's a lot and crazy, but Brie and I can handle it. Plus, I'm hoping Justin moves in soon, and then the rent will be split three ways. Also, Millie (Justin's cute little kitty) is coming with me. And...oh gosh, I can't wait to decorate! I have so much stuff!

PS- You're invited to a New Year's Eve gathering at my new apartment (we move in the day before). It has to be small though. We'll be the only tenants in the building, so I don't think noise is an issue at all. But...and this is the weird part...our landlord is a cop. Yeah, you read that right. A police officer. So...yeah...ummm...we don't want anything to get crazy. We really, really want to avoid getting arrested by our landlord. The end. Hahaha... So beer and liquor are fine. I think weed smoking will occur in the freezing cold, on the deck. No doing lines of coke off the front stoop, no crack smoking anywhere, and I think we're going to try to avoid heroin also. Oh, but pills are fine as long as you know what to do with them. ;)

Oh, and really quick, I never thought I'd say this...but...I am SO JEALOUS of Gwen Stefani. Yeah, so I don't care about the hot husband, or the millions made off of mediocre music, or the clothing line...whatever. That's all just...whatever. But now...NOW...she has a dance posse of four adorable Japanese girls. I want a dance posse of four adorable Japanese girls! That should be my entourage! They go with her everywhere too. Oh, pout.... Someday.

Mmmmkay! Got to go! Love you! Bye!

It's not like I need to do it...I just like to...I can stop...anytime...

Tue, 30 Nov 2004 04:04:56 GMT

Oh sweet rapturous joy! I've won again! I'm 3 for 3!
Another big one is ending in less than 30 minutes! Wish me luck!
Hoorah!